Comprehending Life

"Baby" Acrylic on paper

Today I become the mother of a teenage son. On the day he was born, I wrote these words:

I cannot comprehend life. It’s beginnings confound me. It is God’s doing. It is His choice. He is God.

Two months before he was born, God brought a young woman into my life. She was pregnant and single and scared. During the first several months of her pregnancy she turned to Christ and found strength to make a plan for her child to be adopted. After more than 12 hours of labor, a delivery by C-section,and pressure from her doctor and former boyfriend to change her mind, she still found the strength to stick to that plan.

I cannot comprehend life.

Last year, she found me on Facebook. It had been years since my husband and I had any contact with her, so I was excited to get her online message. Since that time, she and I have exchanged pictures and family news. Knowing she is well and still walking with God is a comfort.

She is a beautiful woman in so many ways. One day I hope my son will be able to meet her–when he’s ready. He’s only 13 now and he’s got so much growing to do.

She, as his birthmother, had nine months of radical change in her body and her heart. My change has been more gradual. I’ve got more gray hairs now and quite a few more laugh lines. And inside my heart has grown with a grace and depth that could only come from God. Marriage couldn’t do it. Childbirth couldn’t do it. Adoption did.

It is God’s doing. It is His choice. He is God.

And as for my new teenager, he will always have two mothers. This young woman that labored to bring him into this world and me, the woman who is dedicated to nurturing, training, guiding, and loving him to a godly manhood.

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