The Waiting


Waiting for the phone to ring is just about unbearable for a perspective adoptive parent. I’ve been in that proverbial chair many times.

Waiting to hear if a mom will stay true to the adoption plan. Or did she see the newborn baby in her arms and change her mind?

Waiting to hear the ruling from the judge. Did they terminate the rights of the unemployed, high-school-dropout teenage father?

I’ve had many disappointments along this adoption journey. Disappointments come with parenting. That’s life. But I’m grateful that God is bigger than the disappointments in life. He’s taken the fly out of the ointment of my disappointments, so to speak.

Waiting to hear something, anything good, is hard. The key is to make the most of the waiting. I’ve listed some of the ways that have helped me. Feel free to recommend others.

  • Pray for yourself, the birthparents, your family (present and future), healing …
  • Read your Bible and other books. ‘Longing for a child‘ has been a good one. It’s a devotional for women struggling with infertility
  • Volunteer at the church nursery, a daycare, a teen care home, where ever you can help nurture kids (of all ages). This was a hard one for me, having lost a child. But it was a necessary step toward healing and hearing God.
  • Talk things out with a spouse, pastor, friend, or counselor. You could talk to your pet but it’s not quite the same.
  • Laugh. Treasure every moment, it is truly a gift, with or without a child. Don’t let the waiting kill you or your joy.
  • Love yourself. Don’t blame yourself for not being able to have a child. You are who you are. Mourn it, and leave it. Be who you are intended to me. If that’s an adoptive mom, there is nothing wrong with that (or with you).

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